2021- the coming year, ringing in the New Year also means pledging to do something differently. All of us are more than excited to mark the end of 2020.
The following are 3 positive parenting tips to start implementing, which will make a big difference in the actions of your children and the dynamics of your family. You can definitely see improvements instantly, which ensures that you are much more likely to commit to these long-term changes. This list of positive parenting will give you a great start to start making a big difference in your home.
1.Get to the Root of the Behavior-Positive Parenting
Positive parenting experts worldwide can agree on this: there’s always something motivating a child’s negative behavior. So that tantrum over the red plate? It wasn’t a random display of poor judgment – it had been motivated by something intrinsically in your child. Whether that was a scarcity of skills in managing his big feelings, a desire to induce your attention, or an influence play to claim his powerfulness – there’s always a reason for the behavior.
The thing to recollect is that the behavior itself is just the symptom. Our challenge as parents is working out what’s really underneath that frustrating behavior.
It would make things MUCH easier if your child could simply say, “Mommy, I would love to have some one-on-one attention with you after I have you ever all to myself. Is there a time we will do it this evening?” But we all know this can be a weird expectation.
So instead, children push our buttons as to how to achieve our attention, albeit negative. Because the reality is, if a baby doesn’t receive our attention in positive ways, (when they don’t just beg for or demand it) they’re going to find ways to induce any attention they’ll, even it’s negative.
Picture yourself as a detective. When a toddler begins to act out, ask yourself “What is that this child trying to accomplish through his actions?” If he had the verbal skills and emotional awareness, “What would he be trying to inform me of this behavior?
Once you identify the foundation reason for the difficulty, you’ll be able to become a more PROACTIVE parent and preempt the outbursts from happening in the first place.
For example, imagine you have got to require a vital call but while you’re on the phone, your children decide it’s an excellent time to start out a match. While still trying to sound engaged within the phone conversation, you give your kids the “if you don’t stop this without delay I’m visiting break down when I’m done” look – but to no avail. You continue with the non-verbal shushing as you run from one room to the following trying to find quiet, but the match seems to follow you. It’s exhausting. And by the top of the telephony, you’re feeling such as you just ran 5 miles.
The goal behind that match – that just happened to start out the minute you bought on the phone – was presumably intended to urge your attention and push your buttons.
They knew you were trapped on the phone and unable to intervene, so it became the right time to act up, getting your attention in negative ways. Use this as a learning experience and now PROACTIVELY steel yourself against the subsequent time you would like to require a call.
20 minutes before your telephony, notify your kiddos, “Hey guys, mommy needs to get on the phone in 20 minutes. Before I do this, I’d like to play a game with you all!”
During those 20 minutes leading up to the decision, give your children undivided attention. you’ll give them reminders leading up to the decision like “Wow! I really like playing games with you. Once mommy is finished along with her call, I’d like to play again!”
When it comes time for the decision, give your children a choice – “Mommy has to get on her call now. Would you prefer to observe a show or play quietly together with your legos while I’m on the phone?”
Also, give them the simplest way to “tell you something” if something they hold urgent comes up while you’re on the decision. Leave a pad of paper nearby so that they write or draw whatever they wanted to inform you as soon as your call is finished.
Chances are that if you fill their attention buckets earlier than time and lay out clear expectations, your children are going to far better behave the following time you wish to require a call.
2. Slow Down – Make your child feel at home!
Some of the foremost difficult moments of parenting are the transitions. The days we are attempting to urge kids to place their shoes and socks on to urge them out the door. A number of these can’t be avoided, but there are times we create rushed transitions by over-scheduling ourselves. It’s going to be to resolve to schedule fewer after-school activities and social engagements this year. Dropping tasks from your to-do list day by day can make family life more calm and enjoyable all around. Don’t make nasty and hasty decisions.
There’s no point to enforce your bad day at work, or an argument together with your husband on your child! It would not work in your favor. If your child starts feeling anxious, don’t create a fuss about it, instead help him get over the anxiety fear! The positive parenting approach can help your home a better place to live in with peace and happiness.
3. Say No to Rewards – Utmost important Positive Parenting Tip.
Parents who are unfamiliar with positive parenting tips are often surprised when I discourage them from using rewards. After all, rewards sound positive, but the truth is they do more harm than good and can lead to a major dose of entitlement down the road.
Parenting is a marathon, not a sprint. When making discipline decisions for your kids, it’s important to keep your long-term goals in mind. Rewards are ineffective because they only offer short-term gain.
Think about it..maybe today you rewarded your child with ice cream for behaving well in the grocery store, but what will she expect next time? At least one ice cream, right? Maybe even two? Will a similar reward be expected during the next doctor’s office visit or a trip to the mall?
Or perhaps you bribed your picky eater to eat their vegetables by offering ice cream for dessert? Now that he knows vegetables can be sold for the price of ice cream, it only makes sense he would hold out on eating his greens until he’s offered ice cream or another equally appealing sweet reward.
Using rewards as a bargaining chip for the desired behavior is a slippery slope to an attitude of entitlement.
Further, many studies have shown that kids who are rewarded actually lose interest in the activity they’re being rewarded for – coloring, reading, practicing piano, doing their homework, etc. Hold your ground, my friend, children don’t need rewards to behave appropriately.
With just a few positive changes, you can make the New Year brighter for your entire family. Which positive parenting resolutions will you make this year? The effects of positive parenting can last a lifetime.